As in our usual Valentine’s Day tradition, I have prepared a game of Kiss, Marry, Kill for you! I stuck to TV shows again, just because it’s the easiest because I consume so much of it. As a little fresh up, here’s what it’s all about: with KMK you are pitting three people against each other and have to decide who, in this specific scenario, you would rather kiss, marry or kill. (Just to clarify, I never want to kill anyone, but I am going to try my best to justify the answers anyway.)
**All characters were chosen randomly from a much bigger pool than the end result could include**
Kiss: TK Strand (9-1-1: Lone Star) – Look, I KNOW I am not his type, but it would only be a kiss. Let me have this!
Marry: Sally Malik (Being Human) – Sally was my favourite character on the US version of Being Human and a life with her would never get boring. Also, my girl is funny af!
Kill: Justin Davis (Spinning Out) – Justin is a bit of a player and I don’t know what to do with that. He is handsome as well, but TK is more so?
Kiss: Yennefer von Vengerberg (The Witcher) – Yennefer is oozing sexual chemistry with basically everyone on screen. So, what’s one kiss?
Marry: Don West (Lost in Space) – What’s the best thing about the Robinsons? Their choice in mechanic! Terrible joke, but Don West really is the best and deserves all the appreciation. I see him as a family person, which I’d like in a partner.
Kill: Beth Cassidy (Dar Me) – Look, I just don’t like Beth? I get her complicated feelings and all, she sure doesn’t have it easy, but she scares me … in a not good way.
Kiss: Josie Saltzman (Legacies) – Josie is just so cute!!
Marry: Duffy (Four Weddings and a Funeral) – I have the biggest crush on this dork. He is sweet and kind and nerdy and geeky and lovely. I was so sad on his behalf when his feelings didn’t get returned by [redacted], but he deserved better anyway.
Kill: Jane Sloan (The Bold Type) – Jane is alright, but out of the main trio, she IS actually my least favourite?
Kiss: Grizz (The Society) – Grizz must be protected at all costs. I don’t think he’d fancy me, but someone has to be kissed …
Marry: Patrick Brewer (Schitt’s Creek) – When he serenaded Patrick, he captured my heart forevermore. Who wouldn’t want a partner like that??
Kill: Klaus (The Umbrella Academy) – WHYYYY? I did not want to do this. I would have married all of them if I could have. But with Klaus … maybe his abilities will make dying different and … maybe non-permanent?
Kiss: Lenny Bruce (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) – My crush on Luke Kirby as Lenny Bruce intensifies with every season and while I highly doubt our lifestyles would be anything other than incompatible, I would go in for that kiss and then allow that man to disappear, no questions asked.
Marry: William (Another Life) – Soooo, I guess I am marrying an AI without a body? This is the future folks, everything is possible!
Kill: Leigh Shaw (Sorry for Your Loss) – Now, if this was about Elizabeth Olsen, I’d marry her in a heartbeat. But … it’s not? And Leigh is not an easy person. She lashes out at everyone all the time and she is selfish in her grief. Which she is allowed to be! Everyone grieves in their own way, but woman, you need to allow others to do the same then.
Kiss: Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer) – a kiss with the devil? Maybe a little tango to go with it? Why not?
Marry: Dennis Cooper (Good Trouble) – out of the three, he is the most normal and as much as I like watching all sorts of crazy stuff, I think non-supernatural/paranormal drama is already drama enough. And it’s not like Dennis doesn’t have some baggage of his own.
Kill: Viv Allen (October Faction) – Poor Viv! I really have no reason to put her in this category whatsoever. It’s just that I have spent much less time with her (as in number of episodes) and just don’t feel that close to her.
Kiss: Fjor Jutul (Ragnarok) – I mean, can you blame me? Basically every girl in Edda is lusting after him.
Marry: Gestalt (The Rook) – I’d get a spouse with four different bodies, I feel like that’s such an advantage. They can do whatever independently, but at least one of them is likely to have time for me, right? And it doesn’t even matter who I tell something, the others would know automatically as well.
Kill: Matty (Reprisal) – The River Phoenixes, which Matty is a part of, were my absolute faves on Reprisal. But boy has issues. I mean, he’s part of a gang and CONSTANTLY on the road and would I have had to join the gang as well if I wanted to be with him? That’s just too much to handle.
Kiss: Forty Quinn (YOU) – I love Forty, even if I don’t think I could actually handle him for a longer amount of time in real life.
Marry: Maggie Vera (Charmed) – Maggie is a badass and lovely person. She’s so in tune with her feelings and picks up on other people’s as well. Also, being with a witch would just be very on brand for me (despite what I have said a couple rounds earlier).
Kill: Payton Hobart (The Politician) – Payton is ruthless in his ambition and I just don’t have it in me. Also, who would want to be with a politician, briefly or long-term, anyway?
Kiss: Caliban, Prince of Hell (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) – I mean, I already kissed the devil, so I might as well.
Marry: Jack Sheridan (Virgin River) – Jack seems like a genuinely good guy.
Kill: Tyler Locke (Locke & Key) – Tyler has just been an idiot one too many times to tolerate. (I am exaggerating, but boy made some mistakes for sure)
Kiss: Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars) – She has been my idol ever since I was 12 or something, so yes, please!
Marry: Robin Buckley (Stranger Things) – Robin was one of the best additions of the new season and I love her snark and team up with Steve. I did not buy her uniform as a Halloween costume for nothing, folks!
Kill: Guzmán Nunier Osuna (Elite) – I actually like Guzman, out of all the people here though, I like him the least. *shrugs*
What did you think of my choices? In case none of your favourites, characters or shows, were mentioned, check out last year’s post and try your luck there!